Over the weekend I was lucky enough to have a child free morning to myself. Dave had been away with work all week and was due to work all day on Sunday so I thought Saturday morning would be the perfect time for him and Oliver to have some boy time.
I had it all planned out. I'd go in to Lincoln and have a casual wander around. It's been so long since I had a proper look around, I haven't actually been in half the shops that have opened lately. I'd imagined finding a cosy coffee shop, snuggling in with a hot chocolate and watching the world go by. I often find that when I get time to myself I like to sit and do absolutely nothing, it feels so indulgent these days. Then I thought I could invite my mum to go with me. She adores Oliver so when we meet up we very rarely get chance for an undisturbed chat as she's so busy playing with him! So it was sorted, I'd take the car so we didn't have the hassle of waiting for busses (and I'm a bit of a bus snob) and we would go and have a drink and perhaps some cake too!
As you can probably imagine, the reality of this scenario wasn't quite so idyllic. The morning of my free time arrived and I started off feeling slightly worn out before I'd even rolled out of bed. I'd had a difficult couple of days and nights with Oliver as he's been full of cold and teething. Although Dave is perfectly capable of sorting Oliver out, I thought I'd leave him to sleep in while I sorted Oliver's breakfast and prepared him some lunch to have while I wasn't there, hoping to make Dave's day a little easier if Oliver was going to be hard work again. Now, anyone who knows me will know that I am always late for everything and I always have been, right since school, and throw a toddler into the mix and I'm now doubly late for everything! I was later leaving the house than I'd liked to of been but still early enough to feel like I had plenty of time. Dave needed the car after lunch so I needed to be back early in the afternoon, this gave me a good few hours.
Mum and I decided we'd go for our drink and cake first as we were already feeling peckish. So we went to her favourite cake shop, a sweet little place called Patisserie Valerie, just before you reach The Strait. It was so nice to sit and drink hot chocolate, eat cake, chat and people watch. Before we knew it we'd been in there for over an hour and we thought it best to get going as we both had things we needed to get and time was ticking on the car parking. We decided it would be easier to separate for a while as we both needed to be in different places. Mum went off her way and I went to get a few bits Dave had asked me to pick up and a few bits I wanted for Oliver. Before I knew it another hour had gone by and I only had about 45 minutes left on the car, talk about feeling pressured! I met back with mum who, luckily, was just as hungry as I was (I am eating for two you know). As we didn't have much time we decided to go to one of my favourite fast food establishments on the way back to the car. We quickly ate our lunch and, once I'd grabbed something for Dave, we headed home.
When I got home I finally felt calm. I wasn't up against the clock anymore, the boys were still alive and, although it was a little messier than when I'd left it, the house was still standing. I realised that, although my morning off had involved three of my favourite things; cake, shopping and fast food, it hadn't actually felt like a morning off. I'd felt rushed, slightly stressed and I'd only bought things for Dave and Oliver, nothing for myself! Rather than feeling disheartened I like to think that I just need more practice at having time off. Surely if I do it enough times I'll get to that day when I can go and drink hot chocolate and while the time away. I think its so important as a mum to have some time to yourself, be kind to yourself, look after yourself and you'll be able to look after everybody else a whole lot better. It's also important for daddies to have some time on their own with the little people. So my pledge to myself is that I will have a morning or day to myself once a month or every 6 weeks. Ladies, you owe it to yourselves and your family to seize your chance of freedom every now and then. Gents, its up to you to make it happen!
Thanks for stopping by, I hope your week has started well!
Nisha x
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