The Easter weekend marked the twentieth week of pregnancy for me. It is absolutely flying! Later this week we will be having our twenty week scan. I think whether you're finding out the sex of your baby or not, it's such an exciting time having a scan. I feel a little more excited the second time around as I feel more attached to the baby during this pregnancy, I wasn't very maternal before I had Oliver.
I've known right from the start of this pregnancy that I want to find out the sex of the baby at the twenty week scan. We didn't find out with Oliver. I took what was maybe a rather narrow minded view that there is no element of surprise when the baby is born, all of your friends and family already know what you're having and probably what the baby is called. I still carry this view to some extent. There is no surprise at the end of the pregnancy, however, the fact that a brand new little soul has arrived in the world is exciting enough that it shouldn't matter whether you know the sex or not.
There are a few reasons, other than a broader mind, that have helped me make a decision about this. I didn't feel a very close bond with Oliver when I was pregnant with him. I was never very maternal before I had him so this could be an explanation for the way I felt but I still think that not knowing who he was, so to speak, played a large part in it. Obviously, the moment he was born all of that changed and everyone who knows me will know that I'd probably burst if I loved the little guy any more.
I also think it will be much more practical for us to find out this time around. We want to have the nursery ready well in advance this time as we're usually very last minute, or late, and end up living an upside down hectic life because of it. I've kept everything from when Oliver was a little baby so I will be able to get it all back out again and either get rid of most of it to make way for pink things, or I'll be able to get all of the tiny things washed, ironed and put away in the cupboards.
Finally, in terms of time, it really makes sense for us to find out. Those of you with children, especially toddlers, will know that organisation is essential. When I have a newborn baby and a toddler, I'm sure the very last thing I'll be wanting to do is sorting through clothes and decorating the nursery!
I still have a few reservations about finding out this time around. Dave came home from work a few weeks ago and said he'd changed his mind about us finding out as he thinks I will regret it. I have to admit that it was a very special moment when Dave told me that our firstborn was a boy and I'll cherish that forever but this time we get to find out at exactly the same time, and it will still be just the two of us (and the sonographer) in a very private setting, still an intimate moment. I think I've managed to convince him that it makes sense for us to find out this time.
Who knows? Maybe I will regret finding out. I won't know until after the scan or possibly even until the baby is born. At the moment I'm just so excited to find out if my 'hunch' is right. I also feel very privileged to experience my pregnancies totally differently, keeping one a surprise and finding out with the other will make them very different experiences, how lucky am I? Watch this space for Part 2, how I feel once we know what we're expecting!
Thanks for reading. I hope you all had a lovely Easter.
Nisha x
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