Pregnancy and a Toddler!

I wasn't sure what to call this post. There were so many variations of what I wanted to put across. Surviving through pregnancy when you have a toddler, Coping with a toddler when you're pregnant, Coping with pregnancy and a toddler ... Anyway, all of these variations should make it clear that I'm not sure which of these is the most hard work at the moment.

Those of you who are parents will know that you get good days and bad days with babies and toddlers. With Oliver this can mean living with the most loving, funny and well behaved little boy one day and living with the spawn of Satan the next day (some family members have even nicknamed him Damien on his bad days). I have no idea what determines his mood for the day but there is very rarely anything between these two extremes of behaviour and, if I'm really unfortunate, the switch can even take place during nap time. Talk about Jekyll and Hyde!

I have come to believe that being a parent is the most exhausting job there is. It's certainly the most challenging, mentally and physically demanding job I've ever had. I feel that each day as Oliver grows older and a little smarter, he demands more of me. He needs to be busy every single waking moment and nothing keeps his attention for longer than 30 seconds. His favourite thing at the moment is bringing me books to read to him, thank goodness this means sitting down for a few seconds. Another favourite of his is using his mummy as a human climbing frame if she stays still for too long. A recent episode of the human climbing frame game saw me pinned to the ground while Oliver tried to shove a pen in my mouth. Its surprising how a 16 month old can overpower you when you're pregnant and tired.

 

This pregnancy has been totally different to my last. With Oliver, I barely knew I was pregnant except for a small bump towards the end, a bit of heartburn and those lovely little kicks. This time round I suffered from nausea in the early days (and sometimes still on the odd day), I've had back and pelvis pain from very early on, I've had heartburn from the very beginning and some days I suffer from what feels like pure exhaustion. It seems slightly unfair that I had such an easy time of it when I had all the time in the world to relax and this time around, when I could do with time to relax, I'm finding it a little harder. I do wonder whether it is the lack of relaxing that is actually causing my symptoms or if I would of felt this way anyway.

 

If you combine the symptoms of a slightly grotty pregnancy that changes every day, with providing full time care for a crazy toddler who changes every day and fitting it all in around family life which changes every day with Dave's work pattern, there can be days that feel like they're never going to end and when they do I'm practically crippled with back pain or I'm so exhausted all I can do is raise an arm just enough to shovel chocolate into my mouth and change the channel on TV.

 

SO, why on earth have I done this and how do I cope? Sometimes I actually ask myself these questions. The answer is simple and all mothers know it, the answer is that you just do. You just cope, somehow. The fact is that the good moments, the positives and the happiness far outweigh any of the negatives. There are so many happy moments and so much love in our house that the thought that I'm growing another bundle of love to add to our family pushes me through the harder times. I get to sit and watch my boys (as I call Dave and Oliver) and know that soon they'll have another little playmate, another boy on their team. There are times that Oliver shows us how loving he can be and I see what a fantastic big brother he is going to be. Only recently he came over to me and cuddled my tummy very tenderly whilst giving me a big toothy grin, such a beautiful moment until Dave asked Oliver what is in Mummy's tummy and Oliver replied 'poo poo'...

 

At the end of the days that have been difficult, when Dave has worked late and Oliver has been a handful and my body feels as though it has failed me, I have all of this happiness to remind me that I'm doing ok and in fact my body hasn't failed me, my body is currently performing a miracle. For the last time in my life, I'm growing another life while nurturing the one I've already grown. As hard as it can be, I know that there will come a time when I look back and miss those little kicks when I'm on my own or feeling like I haven't been my best that day, those kicks remind me that I'm not alone and I'm doing good.

 

And at the end of the days when none of the above can console me, I'm thankful that at least what I'm experiencing must be in some way preparation for having two children under two, a Dave and a crazy dog!!!

 

Thanks for stopping by. I hope you've all had a lovely bank holiday weekend!

Nisha x