Pregnancy and a Toddler!

I wasn't sure what to call this post. There were so many variations of what I wanted to put across. Surviving through pregnancy when you have a toddler, Coping with a toddler when you're pregnant, Coping with pregnancy and a toddler ... Anyway, all of these variations should make it clear that I'm not sure which of these is the most hard work at the moment.

Those of you who are parents will know that you get good days and bad days with babies and toddlers. With Oliver this can mean living with the most loving, funny and well behaved little boy one day and living with the spawn of Satan the next day (some family members have even nicknamed him Damien on his bad days). I have no idea what determines his mood for the day but there is very rarely anything between these two extremes of behaviour and, if I'm really unfortunate, the switch can even take place during nap time. Talk about Jekyll and Hyde!

I have come to believe that being a parent is the most exhausting job there is. It's certainly the most challenging, mentally and physically demanding job I've ever had. I feel that each day as Oliver grows older and a little smarter, he demands more of me. He needs to be busy every single waking moment and nothing keeps his attention for longer than 30 seconds. His favourite thing at the moment is bringing me books to read to him, thank goodness this means sitting down for a few seconds. Another favourite of his is using his mummy as a human climbing frame if she stays still for too long. A recent episode of the human climbing frame game saw me pinned to the ground while Oliver tried to shove a pen in my mouth. Its surprising how a 16 month old can overpower you when you're pregnant and tired.

 

This pregnancy has been totally different to my last. With Oliver, I barely knew I was pregnant except for a small bump towards the end, a bit of heartburn and those lovely little kicks. This time round I suffered from nausea in the early days (and sometimes still on the odd day), I've had back and pelvis pain from very early on, I've had heartburn from the very beginning and some days I suffer from what feels like pure exhaustion. It seems slightly unfair that I had such an easy time of it when I had all the time in the world to relax and this time around, when I could do with time to relax, I'm finding it a little harder. I do wonder whether it is the lack of relaxing that is actually causing my symptoms or if I would of felt this way anyway.

 

If you combine the symptoms of a slightly grotty pregnancy that changes every day, with providing full time care for a crazy toddler who changes every day and fitting it all in around family life which changes every day with Dave's work pattern, there can be days that feel like they're never going to end and when they do I'm practically crippled with back pain or I'm so exhausted all I can do is raise an arm just enough to shovel chocolate into my mouth and change the channel on TV.

 

SO, why on earth have I done this and how do I cope? Sometimes I actually ask myself these questions. The answer is simple and all mothers know it, the answer is that you just do. You just cope, somehow. The fact is that the good moments, the positives and the happiness far outweigh any of the negatives. There are so many happy moments and so much love in our house that the thought that I'm growing another bundle of love to add to our family pushes me through the harder times. I get to sit and watch my boys (as I call Dave and Oliver) and know that soon they'll have another little playmate, another boy on their team. There are times that Oliver shows us how loving he can be and I see what a fantastic big brother he is going to be. Only recently he came over to me and cuddled my tummy very tenderly whilst giving me a big toothy grin, such a beautiful moment until Dave asked Oliver what is in Mummy's tummy and Oliver replied 'poo poo'...

 

At the end of the days that have been difficult, when Dave has worked late and Oliver has been a handful and my body feels as though it has failed me, I have all of this happiness to remind me that I'm doing ok and in fact my body hasn't failed me, my body is currently performing a miracle. For the last time in my life, I'm growing another life while nurturing the one I've already grown. As hard as it can be, I know that there will come a time when I look back and miss those little kicks when I'm on my own or feeling like I haven't been my best that day, those kicks remind me that I'm not alone and I'm doing good.

 

And at the end of the days when none of the above can console me, I'm thankful that at least what I'm experiencing must be in some way preparation for having two children under two, a Dave and a crazy dog!!!

 

Thanks for stopping by. I hope you've all had a lovely bank holiday weekend!

Nisha x

 

Part 2: Finding out the sex of the baby

 

I was going to start this post with an explanation for my lack of writing sooner. I'd come up with an elaborate excuse that I was giving myself time for the news to sink in so I could make a true evaluation of how I feel. In all honesty, pregnancy has really taken it's toll on me this week and my energy levels have been at an all time low (probably need to up the iron intake!) which is rather annoying as I'm suppose to be in the 'Oh my look at her, she's glowing' stage.

So Wednesday evening arrived and I was beyond excited. Dave had the next four days off work (a very rare thing as some of you will know), we had childcare planned for Oliver while we went to the scan and we had planned to have a lovely family day together on Friday. My excitement was short lived as Dave came home from work complaining of stomach ache and Oliver became increasingly grumpy as the day drew to an end. His grumpiness was explained a few hours after we put him to bed when he woke up and started being sick. Cue lots of late night cleaning and a toddler who wakes every hour through the night wanting his mummy. What a nightmare! By the time Thursday morning arrived, Oliver and I were exhausted and Dave still had stomach ache. There was no way we could ask my brother and his partner to look after Oliver now he was contagious and extremely grumpy. Dave suggested that I go alone to my appointment while he looked after Oliver. While I wasn't thrilled with the idea, I was even less thrilled at the thought of having to rearrange my appointment or leaving Oliver with anybody other than Dave.

So there I lay on Thursday afternoon, just me and the sonographer in a dark room, looking at every inch of my baby. In that moment I didn't care whether it was a boy or a girl, I was just so in love. I love scans for that very reason, those precious moments seeing your unborn baby and wondering who they are and what they'll be like. Rather than finding out the sex of the baby on my own, which I really didn't want to do, I asked the lady if she could write it down in a card and seal the envelope so that Dave and I could open it together when I got home, that way we could still have our moment together.

When I got home Dave's stomach ache had all but gone and Oliver was almost back to his usual self (typical). We waited until we had a calm moment and the three of us were together. We stood in our little kitchen and Dave opened the card, he was taking far too many seconds to tell me the result so I had to see for myself. 'Baby is a boy' the card read. I didn't really have time to gauge the boys reactions as I was too busy jumping around and squealing. My joy only lasted a few seconds as my squealing had scared Oliver and made him cry and it was time to get on with some tea anyway, we'd have to process the information later.

 

Since that moment it feels like the information has taken a while to sink in properly, and it still hasn't. I spent nine months pregnant with Oliver having no idea whether I was growing a little boy or a little girl. This time, I know that I'm growing and nurturing another little boy, another son for Dave, a brother for Oliver and another little grandson for my parents to dote on. It seems a really big concept for me to grasp. I still have to correct myself when I talk about 'it' instead of 'him'. There are also unexpected emotions that have come along with knowing the gender of our baby, although I'm glad I can deal with some of these now rather than when I have post labour hormones raging through my body.

One of the main emotions that set in almost instantly was guilt. I'd made no secret of the fact that I wanted another boy but Dave had hinted that he'd like a girl so he could have one of each, that's the way he'd seen our family being completed. I'd always said that if we had a boy and a girl then I'd probably want a third child because part of me just really didn't want to be a boy girl family. Now we know that we will have two boys I feel like our family will be complete. I know that obviously Dave will be fine with the fact that we are having another boy because when your baby is born it doesn't matter what they are! Part of me feels that perhaps if we hadn't found out the sex then I wouldn't spend the rest of my pregnancy carrying that guilt.

 

Other than feeling guilty I'm so glad we decided to find out the sex of our baby. It's lovely knowing what we're having. I find myself daydreaming about what sort of brother Oliver will be to him and how they will play (or fight) together. Sometimes it's a little overwhelming, I wonder if a girl might of been easier for me, Dave and Oliver are both big characters with big appetites and if this little one is the same then I'm going to spend the next few years being very busy keeping them all fed, clean, happy and out of trouble, but I absolutely cannot wait.

 

Finding out we're having another little boy is brilliant and I honestly don't think I could be any happier. If anything it has made me more impatient to get to the end of this pregnancy and welcome the little guy into our family!

 

Thanks for stopping by folks. I hope you have a lovely weekend.

Nisha x   

Part 1: Finding out the sex of the baby

 

The Easter weekend marked the twentieth week of pregnancy for me. It is absolutely flying! Later this week we will be having our twenty week scan. I think whether you're finding out the sex of your baby or not, it's such an exciting time having a scan. I feel a little more excited the second time around as I feel more attached to the baby during this pregnancy, I wasn't very maternal before I had Oliver.

 

I've known right from the start of this pregnancy that I want to find out the sex of the baby at the twenty week scan. We didn't find out with Oliver. I took what was maybe a rather narrow minded view that there is no element of surprise when the baby is born, all of your friends and family already know what you're having and probably what the baby is called. I still carry this view to some extent. There is no surprise at the end of the pregnancy, however, the fact that a brand new little soul has arrived in the world is exciting enough that it shouldn't matter whether you know the sex or not.

 

There are a few reasons, other than a broader mind, that have helped me make a decision about this. I didn't feel a very close bond with Oliver when I was pregnant with him. I was never very maternal before I had him so this could be an explanation for the way I felt but I still think that not knowing who he was, so to speak, played a large part in it. Obviously, the moment he was born all of that changed and everyone who knows me will know that I'd probably burst if I loved the little guy any more.  

 

I also think it will be much more practical for us to find out this time around. We want to have the nursery ready well in advance this time as we're usually very last minute, or late, and end up living an upside down hectic life because of it. I've kept everything from when Oliver was a little baby so I will be able to get it all back out again and either get rid of most of it to make way for pink things, or I'll be able to get all of the tiny things washed, ironed and put away in the cupboards.

 

Finally, in terms of time, it really makes sense for us to find out. Those of you with children, especially toddlers, will know that organisation is essential. When I have a newborn baby and a toddler, I'm sure the very last thing I'll be wanting to do is sorting through clothes and decorating the nursery!

 

I still have a few reservations about finding out this time around. Dave came home from work a few weeks ago and said he'd changed his mind about us finding out as he thinks I will regret it. I have to admit that it was a very special moment when Dave told me that our firstborn was a boy and I'll cherish that forever but this time we get to find out at exactly the same time, and it will still be just the two of us (and the sonographer) in a very private setting, still an intimate moment. I think I've managed to convince him that it makes sense for us to find out this time.

 

Who knows? Maybe I will regret finding out. I won't know until after the scan or possibly even until the baby is born. At the moment I'm just so excited to find out if my 'hunch' is right. I also feel very privileged to experience my pregnancies totally differently, keeping one a surprise and finding out with the other will make them very different experiences, how lucky am I? Watch this space for Part 2, how I feel once we know what we're expecting!

 

Thanks for reading. I hope you all had a lovely Easter.

Nisha x

Backpack Reins

After our trip into town on Saturday morning, I just had to share our latest purchase with you! We went into Mothercare as I wanted some reins for Oliver. He recently started walking which means he always wants to get out of the buggy and walk whenever we're out and about. Due to his fiercely independent nature (and obviously because he's far too cool) he won't hold my hand while he's walking, this isn't such a bad thing with my back at the moment, I could do without having to lean down all the time.

 

While I was busy looking at other things Dave, obviously not wanting to be long in this shop, went and asked the lady where the reins were. She explained that they were sold out of reins at the moment but there were a number of alternatives and she took him over to the stand where he could find them. When I joined him at the stand I instantly fell in love with the backpack reins. A backpack that your toddler wears, is clipped into, and the reins are attached to the bag (they are also removable for when the child is older). There were only a couple to choose from but I was instantly drawn to the LittleLife Buzz Lightyear Daysack.

 

I've since been on the Mothercare website and seen that there are quite a few designs, from Spiderman to Minnie Mouse and so many more. They range in price, starting from £16.99 for a basic bag. The Buzz Lightyear bag was £24.99 which did seem quite expensive for a little bag but since doing a little research I've discovered that it's a similar price to the reins I would've chosen.

 

 

I just think it's a fantastic idea. I'm hoping the design will mean that Oliver is keen to wear them, rather than feeling like he is being restrained. When he gets old enough and wants to carry his own things, he'll be able to pop them in his bag. It's also lovely giving him the freedom to walk but also knowing that he isn't able to wander too far, not to mention how adorable he looks with his bag on.

 

So for those of you with little ones on the move, I'd definitely recommend taking a look at these.

 

Thanks for stopping by, I hope your week has started well!

Nisha x    

Our daily walk

Since having Oliver I've tried to make it a daily goal to go for a walk and get some fresh air. To some of you this may sound a little odd, but others will understand that sometimes if you can achieve just one of your aims during the day it makes you feel so much better. The dog needs a good walk everyday anyway so I have no excuse not to. We are very lucky in Lincoln that most people are a five minute walk away from a park, a wooded area, a riverbank or just a large open space. We are lucky enough that our nearest park has most of those things.

 

  

So far I've managed to keep to this daily routine, even insisting on going for a walk when I've been ill. I really think that sometimes fresh air is the best medicine and I can't believe I used to be so lazy! I've walked the dog with Oliver in the buggy through, rain, wind and snow and I really think its done us so much good.

It is recommended that babies and children get some fresh air during daylight hours every day. It helps to get their body into a natural rhythm which in turn helps with their sleep, something that we struggled with for a long time. I also think it helps for them to get out of the house and see things they don't normally see, Oliver is just starting to take a liking to emergency service vehicles and diggers and now that he's walking, he can even explore the park while the dog is having her play time.

 

 

 

I really think that getting out for a walk every day has been a contributing factor to losing any weight I gained when I was pregnant with Oliver and hopefully it is helping to keep me fit during this pregnancy. There are days already when my back is quite painful and, because the dog pulls a bit on the lead, I have to wait for Dave to get home from work and we all go together. I'm also wondering how I'm going to manage it when I have a double buggy and two children with different needs but I'm sure it's manageable and I'll get into the swing of it shortly after our new arrival.

 

So if you're stuck for something to do over the Easter break, or anytime, get outside! Go for a walk. You can take 15 minutes or 2 hours, however long you like. There are so many benefits, like spending time together as a family, keeping fit and it's even good for your mind.

 

Thanks for stopping by folks. Happy walking!

Nisha x

Mug Cakes

As it was my birthday recently, my best friend bought me a recipe book. She'd told me about a book of hers that she'd been using and I thought it sounded fabulous! Although she couldn't get me the same book as hers, they're pretty much the same thing. My book is called Mug Cakes: 40 Speedy Cakes To Make In A Microwave by Mima Sinclair.

I'd heard that you could make cakes in the microwave but ... in a mug ... in a few minutes ... genius! The cakes are split under four sections in the book; Classics, Occasions, Happy Hour and Treats & Puds. There are so many cakes I'd like to try from each section, such as carrot cake, gingerbread, triple chocolate cake, blueberry muffin, strawberries & cream Victoria sponge, rainbow cake, coke float, mojito, sticky toffee and the list could go on. There are even a couple of gluten free, egg free and dairy free cakes too!

We tend to have fruit after our tea but as its Sunday, and I usually have my shopping delivered on a Monday, we don't often have any fresh fruit in by Sunday. So what better time for a quick tasty treat?! Tonight I decided to start with a relatively simple looking recipe from the classics section, as it is my first one, Chocolate Brownie.

The ingredients were all things I had in the cupboard:

• 2 tablespoons soft butter
• 2 tablespoons caster sugar
• 1 tablespoon light brown sugar
• 1 tablespoon cocoa powder
• 1 medium egg yolk
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 4 tablespoons self raising flour
• pinch of salt
• 2 tablespoons chocolate chips

To make them, all I did was:

• Place the butter in a 250ml tea cup or small mug and microwave for 10-20 seconds until melted
• Add the caster sugar, brown sugar and cocoa powder and beat with a fork until thoroughly combined
• Add the egg yolk and vanilla and beat together, then add the flour and salt and beat again until thoroughly combined and smooth.
• Stir through half the chocolate chips.
• Cook in the microwave for 50 seconds @ 600w, 30 seconds @ 800w or 25 seconds @ 1000w.
• Scatter remaining chocolate chips over top and heat in the microwave for a further 30 seconds.
• Leave to cool for about 15 minutes.

 

 

I was a little sceptical to say the least. Usually things like this don't tend to taste very good. I seem to spend ages making something only to find that I don't like it and neither does Dave (whose always very quick to complain). When the mug cakes came out of the microwave they didn't look particularly 'yummy' but you don't know until you try.

 

I have to say, I was totally surprised. The chocolate brownie mug cakes were absolutely delicious and they really did only take me five minutes to make, they're totally fool proof. If I can make these work, absolutely anybody can! You can even undercook these ones slightly for a gooey centre. Or you could make them in paper cups so you can pop them in your pack up or a picnic.

 

I'm now a total fan of the mug cake. What's not to love? You most probably have the ingredients in the cupboard, they take so little time, there's hardly any washing up and they're absolutely scrummy! So next time you need a quick pudding or you're feeling peckish in the evening (or anytime) give this a go, it really is perfect.

 

I hope you've all had a great weekend.

Nisha x

My love for Pinterest

A few months ago I was searching for ideas for Oliver's first birthday party. I needed a theme, I wanted to make things and given that I'm not very creative at all, I had no idea where to begin. I spent so long searching on Google and seeming to get nowhere! A lot of the search results were from a website called Pinterest. I'm not one for trying new ideas or websites I'm not familiar with, so I was avoiding looking on these pages but in the end I decided that, as a last resort, I'd take a look. Well, I fell in love and I've been hooked ever since.

 

For those of you that aren't familiar, Pinterest is a website that allows you to pin things online, just like a bulletin board, or a notice board if you like. So you set up an account for free and you can then search and pin whatever you like. It saves having to print various pages from the internet or bookmark endless websites. You can also create different boards to pin things to, so you can categorise your pins! As a busy mum who never recovered from baby brain before falling pregnant again, effectively giving me a double dose of it, I find it absolutely invaluable and find myself using it more and more for ideas on just about everything. I've even downloaded the app, which is free, and its on my main screen so I can access it easily.

 

You can literally search for anything and you will find something of interest. I have various boards set up, such as; hair, make up, outfits, toddler activities, home, etc. I'm often searching for recipes, cleaning tips, ideas for storing toys and recently I found some fantastic ideas for storing jewellery for my new dressing table. After using the app for a short time, your home page will be personalised with recommended pins based on your previous searches and pins.

 

I'm so obsessed with the app that when I was telling Dave about it I tried to think of something he would search for so I could show him, no it was nothing dirty, I thought he might like some ideas to help him sort the garage out as he's forever moaning about it, so I searched for garage storage solutions ... and then I spent an hour looking at the results because I was so fascinated at all of the ideas!

 

So whether you're a busy mum, a DIYer, a keen cook or just always on the look out for new ideas, I hope you take a look and find this website/app as fantastic as I do!

 

Thanks for reading, I hope you're all looking forward to the weekend.

Nisha x